Mediation along the line and before marriage/living together
Whilst mediation is most commonly used when couples are going through the process of a separation and divorce, it remains available even years after the initial separation terms have been agreed. It is useful to bear in mind that mediation can be very helpful if changes occur much later on which affect issues relating to your children and/or financial arrangements.
I have learnt as a divorce lawyer and mediator, that many people never have vital conversations before starting to live together about things which, if not addressed, can cause a relationship to fail. Believe it or not, but some people don’t even talk about whether they both want children. There’s very rarely a conversation about money, not just how you will treat your finances but also whether one of you is a saver and the other a spender. Differing views about the importance of extended family, in the case of second relationships how you will deal with each other’s children, how you’ll allocate day to day tasks, about spending time apart with your own friends, how insecurities from past events affect you in future relationships- the list is a long one. In the first romantic flush, it’s easy to avoid discussing fundamental issues. Doing so is however vital. I’ve sadly seen many basically good relationships founder when they may not have done if there had been a discussion early on. Mediation is a good way to have the talks which will help to future proof a relationship. It’s much easier to talk openly and freely with a neutral professional.