With great shame I realise that it’s a very long time since I wrote anything here. Indeed it’s been so long that the whole Word Press format has gone and changed on me!
The reason for the silence is the very good one that I have been very busy so taken up with client work. That however I tell myself is no excuse for the lack of self-discipline to make myself sit down at my keyboard.
The mystery is why, after what felt like a very long trek through a desert, mediation referrals have been coming in in almost unprecedented numbers. I know from the FMA board that the drop in referrals over several months last year wasn’t unique to me. That doesn’t however explain why that happened or why the flood gates now seem to have opened.
The exciting thing for people like me who have been mediating since the dark ages is that a lot of my new clients over the last several months are referring to mediation as a first port of call.
I’m a cynic but even I have hopes that, at long last, the mediation message is reaching the public. Could it be that we may be at a point where seeing a mediator to help resolve issues on separation seems the natural thing to do.
One of the challenges that presents for a mediator is that, in the early stages, at least one person is almost certainly in an emotional state where having any thoughts about the future is just not possible.
The good thing though is that, whilst allowing time before starting to address the longer term issues, we mediators have the chance to work with couples on making good child arrangements at a very early stage. Given those arrangements and, even more importantly, the relationship between their parents, can affect children’s lives over the long term, it gives mediators a chance to make a real difference.
Let’s just hope that mediation is finally here to stay, established as a first port of call not just something to try when everything else has failed. As my partner says, why wouldn’t you mediate as things have to be sorted out and it offers such a quick, relatively cheap and constructive way of achieving solutions.


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